What is the Story I’m Telling Myself: A Guide to Break the Cycle of Assuming
Have you ever paid attention to how often you “guess”… How often you assume what someone is thinking? Or how they may respond? Assumptions are a natural part of the human experience. We make assumptions every day, often without realizing it. Assumptions can be helpful – they allow us to make quick decisions by relying on past experiences – but they can also lead to misunderstandings and conflict. In this blog post, we will explore the topic of assumptions and how to stop the cycle of assuming.
So, how do we stop assuming? When our brains are naturally inclined to subconsciously take in information and create the narrative that best fits our experiences and ideologies, it can feel like an impossible task to break the cycle of assuming. The truth is, with intentional effort and focus on brain care, you CAN take control of the story your mind is writing and create a healthy thought pattern that isn’t built around assumptions.
Let’s take a look at the steps you can implement to stop the cycle of assuming and begin your journey to a happier & healthier way of humaning.
- Increase Awareness
This can be accomplished by simply paying attention to our thought patterns and questioning our own beliefs and judgments. It is so important to educate ourselves and increase our awareness of the harmful effects of assuming, such as perpetuating stereotypes and causing harm or offense to others. Even worse, allowing us to feel like we are a victim of the world around us. Both others and ourselves are affected by the cycle of assuming. A strategy I use with my clients is a note-taking approach. Make a log of the moments of the day where you find yourself creating a particular story, or assumption, and determine if you have tangible evidence to back up your story or if you’ve spiraled into assuming. These logs will help you see how your brain is working and how you can notice your thoughts and make them more productive. - Ask Questions
Taking the time to ask ourselves questions about our assumptions can be a powerful tool in critically evaluating them. One line of questioning could be considering the sources of our assumptions – are they based on our own experiences and beliefs, or have they been inherited from others? It can also be helpful to actively seek out facts that either support or challenge our assumptions. Gathering information from a variety of sources, rather than relying solely on what we already believe to be true, can help us broaden our perspective and potentially even lead us to change our minds. Asking these critical questions can ultimately assist us in stepping out of the cycle of assuming and instead make informed decisions based on evidence. - Be Endlessly Curious
Our assumptions can be helpful in allowing us to navigate everyday life and make split-second decisions, but they can also be limiting and inaccurate. By continuously seeking new information and challenging our own beliefs, we can break out of this cycle. Being endlessly curious helps us to stay open-minded, question the status quo, and come up with innovative solutions. It allows us to gather a more diverse range of perspectives and broaden our understanding of the world. So why not be curious about everything? Ask questions, do research, learn from others, and never stop expanding your knowledge and challenging your assumptions. Always be willing to change your mind and evolve with new information; it’s the key to growth and progress. Embrace curiosity and don’t be afraid to challenge what you thought you knew. - Communicate First
It’s easy to fall into the habit of assuming what others are thinking or feeling, but this can lead to misunderstandings and conflict with the people we interact with & with how we view the world around us. Instead of blindly believing the narrative your mind has written, try to communicate openly and honestly with those around you – the ones at the center of your mental story. This doesn’t mean always expecting agreement or getting your way, but it can help clarify any misunderstandings and allow for more effective problem-solving and connection. It’s also important to be mindful of the story we may be telling ourselves about a situation, as our perspective is not always reality. When in doubt, take a step back and bring communication into the equation. It can help break the cycle of assuming and pave the way for greater understanding and connection.
My goal for you is to be in a healthy brain space, able to effectively and intentionally view the world, no longer allowing assumptions to interfere with your relationships, future, and dreams.
Part of the whole humaning experience is to remember that we aren’t just doing life, we are being human and that requires us to love ourselves enough to work on our brain care as well as our body care. When we allow ourselves to break the cycle of assuming we can better function from a place of intention for our life, our relationships, and our future.
I’d love to continue this conversation with you over on Instagram in my DM’s. Let me know if you’re ready to break the cycle of assuming in your life & how these tips are bringing you clarity.